Noise. Noisy thing. Hurt noisy thing.
Noisy thing again. Look at noisy thing. Clock. Woman wants noisy thing off. Turn it off.
Gotta pee. Shuffle to the bathroom. Pee. Ahhh. Peeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Done.
Wash hands. Don’t know why but wash anyway.
Coffee. Need coffee. Shuffle into kitchen. Look at coffee maker. Stare at coffee maker. Glare at coffee maker. Remember how it works. Start putting coffee into basket. Spill half of it. Try to pick up spill and save it. Give up and finish filling basket. Drop basket. Swear. Fill basket with more coffee. Put in machine. Find power button. Blue lights. Blue lights are bright, hurt eyes. Push Brew button.
Shuffle back to bathroom, splash water on my face. Look in mirror. Realize that I get better looking every day. Dry face. Brush teeth. Bwush tunguh. Rinse and spit. Mouthwash. Swish-swish swish-swish GAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGLLLLLLL
Walk to the kitchen. Coffee is brewed. Dump out grounds. Walk to office, slowly descend stairs. Sit down and start computer. Stare at screen for 5 minutes. Log in. Stare at screen for 5 minutes. Look at email. Drink coffee. Pull up daily comics. Drink coffee. Read comics. Drink coffee. Someone is messaging me about a problem. Haven’t had enough coffee to be talking with people yet. Drink… Out of coffee.
Head back up stairs and go to coffee maker. Fill basket, put in machine, brew. Look at mess of spilled coffee grounds on the counter, clean them up. Coffee’s done. Grab cup and head downstairs.
Check Facebook. Drink coffee. Read email. Drink coffee. Start working. Drink coffee.
Keep working. Out of coffee. Phone rings – it’s the boss. Decide that she just missed me, grab coffee mug and head back upstairs.
Brew another cup of coffee. Realize that the coffee is working and go poop. Catch up on Words With Friends. Yell, “What the heck is ‘za’?” Look it up – it’s short for pizza. Mutter obscenities under my breath. Wash hands, grab coffee, head back down and call boss back. Coffee’s cold.